10/24/06

one day ball bounces onto lawn, he comes out i walk to get ball and he point to his ugly shoe says you come on this lawn you get da boot. we get john and jays dad by name of big john big john is my father is a short muscle squirrel eye wall painter and puncher a perpetual child he farts into a long steel pipe the other end of whichs imbedded in the embers of a camp fire hes a great monster to jump and and beat into meaningless illusory pulp, growling and carrying us around on back through the house. kent retreats into house from big johns tirade calls cops etc.
where heart at. i mean wheres it gotta leave.
unveil what curtain what lone limb to show
what track to derail
fireworks to "eh," and walk away along the harbor arm clenched and sweating alone this year...
come to disappear in half shell crows on bench by the charles or is it hat shell,
like hat shell better its hat shell.
how to weel, weep alone insincerely, how not to madlib a ___________ tear
into being (cadaver)

ill have to read something. rain shush no do it fo me.
but if do force the voice hard enough
then something
will
come.
may take months of lonely waiting
to ask a stranger
about their dreams, but something will come
through some drenched breath
when off guard
while lost and image quelched
will bring them adamantly like cnn on drive in to forefront.
strangers and things do this.
make
horrendous
gigantic
monstrous
the light flittings of thirsty wandering
and yet you walk lighter
and
smaller than ever through
screaming faces.
if do force voice hard enough
then something
will
come. mostly id rather sleep
falling with thought of
what are you parched of, fallen leaf!
and the leaf say nothing i answer
i am full. i am full.
ah. ah. ah.